I need help on ocd caused by repression

[Roland]

i found out a week ago that i might have developed a form of ocd, and
that really scared me cause i have never had any kind of problems like
that in my life, but the anxiety has increased in the past two years
that makes the situation bad i think and needs resolve.
i read the following from a website about ocd which struck me as
familiar " When an individual considers even one emotion or feeling
unacceptable or dangerous, then the stage is set for repression. When
an emotion (e.g., love, hate, desire, aversion, joy, sadness, fear or
anger) is repressed by fear, that emotion is pushed into the
subconscious or is buried alive where the person can no longer deal
with it. Instead, this emotion exists in a state of tension or anxiety
which the person cannot "get rid of." Fear influences the entire
psychic life including the imagination and motor activity. As the
person does not know the reason for the anxiety, he or she may try
unsuccessfully for years to figure out the cause. Over time the
repressed emotion will try to come into awareness and when that happens
the person becomes obsessed with the things that he or she has
repressed over time (e.g., if sexual matters have been repressed, the
person will now become obsessed with sex-thoughts, pornography,
fantasies, masturbation, etc.)"

what i found similar to me is that i met this girl when we were both
17, i'm 25 now , and had a huge crush on her, but she was with someone
and we became very close friends, i supressed my emotion based on fear.
the bad thing is that i kept this to myself for 4 years, which is a
very long time ,then i told her and we were a couple for a while on and
off for two years.
my problem (sorry i bored u) is that now i dont like her like i used to
, we're still in contact but i am obsessed by her, i get this anxiety
attacks and panic attacks and te only thing that helps me is to call
her and go meet her. i always thought this was love , i mean we're
close and i've known her for so long, but after i read what i pasted
here, i believe i am sick, it's not natural. i am not concentrating at
work, i dont wanna see my friends anymore and i'm keeping most of my
time to myself. the only thing that helps is to be with her, not in a
good way, she even sometmes looks at me like i am obsessed with her.
this thing is ruining my life , í dropped out from my masters and i'll
be fired from work soon.

this is just a self diagnose that i need to verify , and going to
therapy is really difficult for me, i know myslef i'll just ignore it.
thanks

[Ichydog]

Post by Roland
i found out a week ago that i might have developed a form of ocd, and
that really scared me cause i have never had any kind of problems like
that in my life, but the anxiety has increased in the past two years
that makes the situation bad i think and needs resolve.
i read the following from a website

Hey Roland.
Could you give the url for the website you copied from?
You said you just found out. How did you find out?
Are there any other ocd behaviours? Perfectionism, checking, anything at all?
Lisa

[Roland]

http://www.conradbaars.com/ocd.htm

i found it by searching in google for ocd.

i found out after the words made sense to me, i never knew what ocd
was.

about any other behaviours, i guess u can name perfectionism, but i
always knew that and people around me noticed it and i always thought
it's because i'm a virgo. that's how me and my friends looked at it
long time ago.

[John Smith]

Hi Roland,
Go see a professional doctor as soon you can.

I have read your post a couple of times. I am not a doctor, but do suffer
from fairly classic OCD symptoms. I am not sure that your problems are
classic OCD - but hey what's a label when you are distressed. Also a think
diagnosis can vary and overlap if I read existing posts correctly.

"i have never had any kind of problems like that in my life"

I stand to be corrected but I think for most posters here, OCD did not
happen in adulthood overnight as a one-off.

"i am not concentrating at work, i dont wanna see my friends anymore and

i'm keeping most of my time to myself"
If I felt like this (and I have) - I would say that I was depressed. A
doctor will be able to tell what is going on fairly quickly I imagine.

Repression / OCD /Therapy etc.
"therapy is really difficult for me, i know myslef i'll just ignore it."
I go to 3 times a week psychotherapy with an experience and qualified
shrink - who is herself continually assessed. We work on issues of anxiety
around abandonment and relationships. I used to get very anxious when my
partner was away, and felt I had to be around her all the time. We linked
this with my being separated from my mum as a toddler and progress has been
made. She also encourages me in my outside day-to-day life as well my inner
world.
She does not work on my OCD directly. I am a fan of good quality
psychotherapy for certain things especially relationships, emotions etc -
but I think it is crap at "First Aid", and is best done when life reaches a
more settled point. I do *not* count the CBT therapies , counselling ,
relaxation techniques with this.

First Aid
If you are dropping out of study and work is at risk - I would suggest you
need some first aid. A doctor will be able to point you in the right
direction for medication, counselling etc.

Good Luck

J

"Roland" <***@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:***@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
i found out a week ago that i might have developed a form of ocd, and
that really scared me cause i have never had any kind of problems like
that in my life, but the anxiety has increased in the past two years
that makes the situation bad i think and needs resolve.
i read the following from a website about ocd which struck me as
familiar " When an individual considers even one emotion or feeling
unacceptable or dangerous, then the stage is set for repression. When
an emotion (e.g., love, hate, desire, aversion, joy, sadness, fear or
anger) is repressed by fear, that emotion is pushed into the
subconscious or is buried alive where the person can no longer deal
with it. Instead, this emotion exists in a state of tension or anxiety
which the person cannot "get rid of." Fear influences the entire
psychic life including the imagination and motor activity. As the
person does not know the reason for the anxiety, he or she may try
unsuccessfully for years to figure out the cause. Over time the
repressed emotion will try to come into awareness and when that happens
the person becomes obsessed with the things that he or she has
repressed over time (e.g., if sexual matters have been repressed, the
person will now become obsessed with sex-thoughts, pornography,
fantasies, masturbation, etc.)"

what i found similar to me is that i met this girl when we were both
17, i'm 25 now , and had a huge crush on her, but she was with someone
and we became very close friends, i supressed my emotion based on fear.
the bad thing is that i kept this to myself for 4 years, which is a
very long time ,then i told her and we were a couple for a while on and
off for two years.
my problem (sorry i bored u) is that now i dont like her like i used to
, we're still in contact but i am obsessed by her, i get this anxiety
attacks and panic attacks and te only thing that helps me is to call
her and go meet her. i always thought this was love , i mean we're
close and i've known her for so long, but after i read what i pasted
here, i believe i am sick, it's not natural. i am not concentrating at
work, i dont wanna see my friends anymore and i'm keeping most of my
time to myself. the only thing that helps is to be with her, not in a
good way, she even sometmes looks at me like i am obsessed with her.
this thing is ruining my life , í dropped out from my masters and i'll
be fired from work soon.

this is just a self diagnose that i need to verify , and going to
therapy is really difficult for me, i know myslef i'll just ignore it.
thanks